


Talking

by musicgirl1120



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Post 4x03, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27926179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicgirl1120/pseuds/musicgirl1120
Summary: Set after 4x03  The conversation Maya and Carina needed to have after Maya invited Andy to move in.
Relationships: Maya Bishop & Carina DeLuca, Maya Bishop/Carina DeLuca
Kudos: 139





	Talking

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I have nothing to do this weekend. Lol. Anyways, enjoy!

After they finished talking to Sullivan, Maya went back into her office to work on all the paperwork that now existed to get their new probie ready to start on their next shift. Before she got in too deep, she decided to call Carina, just wanting to talk to her girlfriend after the intense day they had had so far. 

“Hi Bella,” Carina said, smiling as she answered the facetime. 

“Hey,” Maya said, smiling back, “Are you busy?” 

“No,” Carina said, sitting down on the couch, “Just unpacking. Why?” 

“I just wanted to talk to you,” Maya said, “It’s been a crazy day.” 

“Is everything alright?” Carina asked. 

“Yeah,” Maya said, “It was just Sullivan’s hearing which I guess kinda worked out because he is now our new probie and there was an electrical fire downtown and Miller got injured, but he should be fine and Andy and I talked for real for the first time since I became Captain and she’s going to move in again and…” 

“Wait, what?” Carina said, looking at Maya, “What did you just say?” 

“That Andy and I are friends again…” Maya said, realizing as she was talking that she had made a huge mistake, “And that I asked her to move back in?” 

“You asked her to move back in?” Carina asked, feeling her anger surge, trying not to yell, “Maya, you just asked me to move in. I thought this was our place now, and now you are asking Andy to move in without even asking me? Maya, this is not how living together works.” 

“I’m sorry,” Maya said, mentally kicking herself, “I didn’t even think. It was so stupid, but she’s been sleeping at the station for the past month because she and Sullivan are doing some kind of 90-day separation for his sobriety and I just felt so bad for her and we finally started talking again and she’s my best friend and I can go tell her to forget about it. I will, right now, I’m so sorry.” 

“Maya, slow down,” Carina said, sighing, “You don’t need to uninvite Andy. But you can’t just go inviting people to live with us without asking me.” 

“I know,” Maya said, “And I’m so sorry. It’s just for two months and then she and Sullivan can move back in together I think, although I’m not entirely sure about that, but I promise it’s only temporary.” 

“Alright,” Carina said, nodding as she bit her lip, looking like she had more to say. 

“What are you thinking?” Maya asked, cocking her head. 

“Did you really want me to move in?” Carina asked after a minute. 

“What?” Maya said, feeling completely caught off guard, “Of course I do. Why?” 

“Well, you were very quiet at breakfast this morning,” Carina said, “And you just kept looking at all my stuff, like it was bothering you. And now you have someone else moving in. Maya, I moved out of my place, and I have forty-eight hours left on my lease. If you do not want me to live here, I need to know now.” 

“No,” Maya said, getting up from her desk, moving into her bunk where she had a little more privacy, “No, Carina, I want you there. I want to live with you. I am more sure I want to live with you than I have ever been sure of anything ever in my life.” 

“Then why do you look so mad when you see my stuff?” Carina asked, feeling very vulnerable. “I’m not mad,” Maya said, shaking her head as she took a deep breath, “I am scared… terrified might actually be a better word for it.” 

“You are scared of having me here?” Carina asked, feeling tears well up in her eyes, “Why? Am I such a bad person to live with?” 

“No,” Maya said, realizing this was going horribly wrong, “No. I’m not scared of you; I’m scared of me. Of me hurting you, of me messing this up, of me blowing up our relationship when you see who I really am, how truly dark and messed up I am and that I will hurt you because I don’t know how to do this…this living together thing.” 

“Maya,” Carina said, jaw tight for a minute, “I do not know how to do this either, this living together. I have my dark places to, and I know that I am overbearing and push too hard and I am also afraid of pushing you too hard, but Bella, we have to talk about this, about everything, or else we will end up hurting each other.” 

Maya nodded, wiping a tear that was running down her cheek. 

“I’m sorry I asked Andy to move in without talking to you,” Maya said, biting her lip, “I really will ask her not to move in if you want.” 

“No,” Carina said, shaking her head, “No. If you would have asked, I would have said yes. I just wish you would have asked, but Andy should not be spending the night at the station.” 

“Thank you,” Maya said, nodding, “And again, I am so sorry. I won’t do anything like that again.” 

“I appreciate that, Bella,” Carina said, smiling, “Now, when is Andy moving in?” 

“Probably after this shift,” Maya said, “If that’s ok?” 

“Si,” Carina said, nodding, “You said you two finally talked?” 

“Yeah,” Maya said, smiling, “I was telling her… something earlier and I told her I wished I could call her and then she came into my office and told me she forgave me… that she missed us being friends.” 

“What were you telling her?” Carina asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“That I was scared of hurting you,” Maya said quietly, “That having you make breakfast for me almost made me break out in hives, and that I wished I could call her and talk to her about it.” 

Maya wasn’t looking at Carina anymore, too embarrassed. 

“Maya,” Carina said, “I understand that you want to have your friend to talk to, and I am happy that you have that again, but Bella, you could have told me that is how you were feeling. I do not want to make you uncomfortable in your home. I don’t want to overstep.” 

“You don’t,” Maya said, looking at Carina again, “You’re not. It’s just my stupid brain that freaks out because… I don’t know… bad wiring?” 

“Or childhood trauma?” Carina said, frowning, “Maya, I understand. There are things that trigger me too. I have worked for a long time in therapy on that, and still, there are times, when someone yells or slams a door or when I am alone too long, that it makes me feel like I did as a girl.” 

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Maya said, smiling at Carina, “I wish I knew what was going to set me off, freak me out.” 

“You will learn,” Carina said, “If you keep working with your therapist, and then you will learn how to make it easier, how to work through it.” 

Maya nodded, hearing a knock on her door. 

“I have to get back to work,” Maya said with a sigh, “Are we good?” 

“We are good,” Carina said, “As long as we keep talking, don’t shut me out Bella. Don’t worry about hurting me with how you are feeling because it hurts more when you don’t talk.” 

“I know,” Maya said, “I’m working on it. I love you.” 

“Love you too, Bella,” Carina said, blowing Maya a kiss, “See you at home soon.” 

Maya blew Carina a kiss before hanging up, grateful that she had called her girlfriend and did something that never felt normal: talking.

**Author's Note:**

> I've read a few of these Maya and Carina deal with Maya's poor choices fics, but I just had to write my own. I hope you liked it. If you have any prompts for this amazing couple, I am always looking for more.


End file.
